1 00:00:33,205 --> 00:00:35,439 Honey, I'm home. 2 00:01:00,332 --> 00:01:02,966 Good morning, Pangaea! 3 00:01:03,068 --> 00:01:05,101 Good morning. 4 00:01:10,041 --> 00:01:11,741 Good morning. It's Wednesday, 5 00:01:11,843 --> 00:01:14,511 September 20, 60,000,003 B.C. 6 00:01:14,613 --> 00:01:17,580 Coming up, Godzilla will be stopping by 7 00:01:17,682 --> 00:01:19,782 with a clip from his new blockbuster. 8 00:01:22,220 --> 00:01:24,387 Well, OK. He's here. 9 00:01:24,489 --> 00:01:28,024 But first, a look at the weather where you are. 10 00:01:28,126 --> 00:01:29,725 Yay! 11 00:01:29,827 --> 00:01:31,294 As you can see, 12 00:01:31,396 --> 00:01:35,031 we've got ourselves an active super-continent this morning. 13 00:01:35,133 --> 00:01:37,601 In the north, violent volcanoes, 14 00:01:37,703 --> 00:01:39,970 including one particularly big boomer 15 00:01:40,071 --> 00:01:44,173 that ought to rip the Tigris-Euphrates Valley wide open. 16 00:01:44,275 --> 00:01:46,710 So if you've got relatives there, 17 00:01:46,812 --> 00:01:49,145 kiss 'em goodbye. 18 00:01:49,247 --> 00:01:51,080 Connie, Rex, back to you. 19 00:01:51,182 --> 00:01:53,183 Thanks, Dr. Doug. 20 00:01:54,486 --> 00:01:56,786 Good morning, my family who loves me. 21 00:01:56,888 --> 00:01:58,087 Not the Mama. 22 00:01:58,189 --> 00:02:00,290 All right. That ends right now. 23 00:02:00,392 --> 00:02:02,559 I've had it with this "Not the Mama." 24 00:02:02,661 --> 00:02:04,794 I am not "Not the Mama", I'm your daddy, 25 00:02:04,896 --> 00:02:07,263 and you only get one, Buster. 26 00:02:07,365 --> 00:02:09,799 And that's what you'll call me: Daddy. 27 00:02:09,901 --> 00:02:11,568 Now say "Daddy." 28 00:02:12,904 --> 00:02:14,604 Say "Daddy"! 29 00:02:16,174 --> 00:02:18,208 OK. All right. All right. 30 00:02:18,310 --> 00:02:20,076 Say "Dah." 31 00:02:20,178 --> 00:02:21,644 Dah. 32 00:02:21,746 --> 00:02:23,612 Say "Dee." 33 00:02:23,714 --> 00:02:25,114 Dee. 34 00:02:25,216 --> 00:02:26,883 Dah... 35 00:02:26,985 --> 00:02:28,251 Dah... 36 00:02:28,353 --> 00:02:29,419 Dee. 37 00:02:29,521 --> 00:02:30,986 Dee. 38 00:02:31,089 --> 00:02:31,987 Dahdee. 39 00:02:32,090 --> 00:02:33,423 Dahdee. 40 00:02:33,525 --> 00:02:34,390 Franny! 41 00:02:34,492 --> 00:02:36,159 - Dahdee! - Fran! 42 00:02:36,261 --> 00:02:37,159 Dahdee. 43 00:02:37,262 --> 00:02:38,861 He loves me. Listen. 44 00:02:38,963 --> 00:02:40,296 Dahdee, Dahdee! 45 00:02:40,399 --> 00:02:41,631 ♪ Dahdee, Dahdee, Dahdee ♪ 46 00:02:41,733 --> 00:02:44,701 ♪ Dah-dah dee Dahdee dah dee ♪ 47 00:02:44,803 --> 00:02:46,435 Not the Mama! 48 00:02:51,376 --> 00:02:53,743 I'm not going to school today. 49 00:02:53,845 --> 00:02:55,912 Don't you feel all right, sweetheart? 50 00:02:56,014 --> 00:02:59,115 Oh, I feel fine. There's nothing wrong with me. 51 00:02:59,217 --> 00:03:03,018 I'm just not leaving the house anymore. Are we clear? 52 00:03:03,121 --> 00:03:05,488 Something bothering you there, Princess? 53 00:03:05,590 --> 00:03:06,889 Nothing's bothering me. 54 00:03:06,991 --> 00:03:09,392 I happen to be in a delightful mood. 55 00:03:09,494 --> 00:03:10,494 Kiss the baby. 56 00:03:10,595 --> 00:03:12,495 - Shut up! - Waahh! 57 00:03:12,597 --> 00:03:15,131 - And cut that out. - Yes, ma'am. 58 00:03:15,233 --> 00:03:19,402 Look, something's bothering you. It doesn't take a genius to figure that out. 59 00:03:19,504 --> 00:03:22,005 Then you're the guy for the job. 60 00:03:23,575 --> 00:03:25,175 Oh, everything's fine, Daddy. 61 00:03:25,277 --> 00:03:26,776 And my life is not that simple 62 00:03:26,878 --> 00:03:30,380 that you could put my deepest feelings into simple words. 63 00:03:30,482 --> 00:03:32,815 Every girl in school's grown a tail except her. 64 00:03:34,119 --> 00:03:36,218 Did I leave anything out... Stump? 65 00:03:36,320 --> 00:03:38,054 Grrr! 66 00:03:38,156 --> 00:03:39,588 Get him! Get him, Charlene! 67 00:03:39,690 --> 00:03:40,868 Get him! Get him! 68 00:03:40,892 --> 00:03:42,392 Ahh! Ahh! Mom! Mom! 69 00:03:42,494 --> 00:03:45,261 Come on, kids, that's enough. 70 00:03:45,363 --> 00:03:47,763 I give! I give! I give! Ow, ow, ow! 71 00:03:47,866 --> 00:03:50,166 You snap his neck, you're gonna hear from me. 72 00:03:50,268 --> 00:03:51,166 Mercy! 73 00:03:51,269 --> 00:03:52,802 Oh, man! 74 00:03:52,904 --> 00:03:56,171 I got spit on my neck. 75 00:03:56,275 --> 00:04:00,843 Charlene, I was one of the last girls in my class to get my tail. 76 00:04:00,945 --> 00:04:03,946 That didn't keep me from landing a wonderful guy 77 00:04:04,049 --> 00:04:06,082 like your father. 78 00:04:08,019 --> 00:04:09,452 It's not my tail. 79 00:04:09,554 --> 00:04:11,755 I don't care about my tail! 80 00:04:11,857 --> 00:04:16,259 Good, because no matter how long and gorgeous your tail is, 81 00:04:16,361 --> 00:04:19,395 eventually it'll end up looking like this. 82 00:04:19,497 --> 00:04:21,698 Jeez, Ethel. Put that thing away. 83 00:04:22,967 --> 00:04:24,668 Ugh! 84 00:04:24,770 --> 00:04:26,936 Why should I care that I'm the only girl I know 85 00:04:27,038 --> 00:04:29,439 who still has her stupid, little stub? 86 00:04:29,541 --> 00:04:33,509 Huh? Why should I get upset that that's all boys care about? 87 00:04:33,611 --> 00:04:36,713 Oh, honey, you have to give the boys more credit. 88 00:04:36,815 --> 00:04:38,548 They're not as shallow as all that. 89 00:04:38,650 --> 00:04:41,184 And if you subscribe to Dinosaur Sports now, 90 00:04:41,286 --> 00:04:43,719 you get all that sports action, 91 00:04:43,821 --> 00:04:45,187 plus every guy's favorite, 92 00:04:45,289 --> 00:04:47,824 the year-end tail issue. 93 00:04:50,562 --> 00:04:54,530 That's not real. Real tails don't stand up like that. 94 00:04:54,632 --> 00:04:57,266 What's so great about tails anyway? 95 00:04:57,368 --> 00:04:58,835 Nothing. 96 00:05:01,439 --> 00:05:04,174 Oh, you're all a bunch of pigs. 97 00:05:05,510 --> 00:05:09,779 Earl, we have to talk to Charlene about her tail. 98 00:05:09,881 --> 00:05:11,347 She's just a kid. 99 00:05:11,449 --> 00:05:13,182 We don't have to talk about this for years. 100 00:05:13,284 --> 00:05:16,819 Her friends are getting their tails and she's concerned... 101 00:05:16,921 --> 00:05:19,322 Hey, I'm telling you, she doesn't care about her tail. 102 00:05:19,424 --> 00:05:21,857 She's just a little girl. What is she? Seven? 103 00:05:21,960 --> 00:05:24,227 She's 12, Earl. 104 00:05:24,329 --> 00:05:26,729 Seven, 12: it's not her tail. 105 00:05:26,832 --> 00:05:28,197 That would be a female problem. 106 00:05:28,299 --> 00:05:31,033 She isn't a female yet, so she doesn't have a problem. 107 00:05:31,135 --> 00:05:34,203 Which if she did, we wouldn't discuss it in front of the son. 108 00:05:34,305 --> 00:05:35,705 Fine. I'll leave. 109 00:05:35,807 --> 00:05:37,440 I'll go with you. 110 00:05:39,710 --> 00:05:42,111 Come on, come on. 111 00:05:42,213 --> 00:05:43,546 Come on, come on. 112 00:05:43,648 --> 00:05:45,281 Yeah! 113 00:05:45,383 --> 00:05:46,816 All right. Yeah. 114 00:05:46,918 --> 00:05:47,817 Ooh. 115 00:05:47,919 --> 00:05:49,051 Huh? 116 00:05:49,153 --> 00:05:50,586 I love you. 117 00:05:50,689 --> 00:05:52,221 And I love you. 118 00:05:52,324 --> 00:05:53,890 Hey, hey! 119 00:05:53,992 --> 00:05:55,558 Hey, cut that out. 120 00:05:57,495 --> 00:05:59,395 I don't like my lunch 121 00:05:59,497 --> 00:06:01,697 uh... fraternizing with each other. 122 00:06:01,800 --> 00:06:02,665 Go away. 123 00:06:02,767 --> 00:06:04,047 Whoa, whoa! 124 00:06:05,570 --> 00:06:08,938 They didn't even know each other before I defrosted them. 125 00:06:09,040 --> 00:06:12,208 Hey, hey. What have we here? 126 00:06:12,310 --> 00:06:13,742 Hello, lady. 127 00:06:13,844 --> 00:06:18,981 Well, I think it's time to take a dip in the secretarial pool. 128 00:06:19,083 --> 00:06:21,317 Come on, Roy. I'm a married guy. 129 00:06:21,419 --> 00:06:24,387 Hey, look at the tail on that one. 130 00:06:24,489 --> 00:06:27,190 Lift it, don't drag it, sweetheart. 131 00:06:27,292 --> 00:06:29,758 Hey, and look at that one. 132 00:06:29,860 --> 00:06:32,294 You know, she looks a little like Charlene 133 00:06:32,397 --> 00:06:34,296 if Charlene had a tail. 134 00:06:34,399 --> 00:06:37,000 Hey, what did you do that for? 135 00:06:38,202 --> 00:06:40,602 Gee, I don't know what came over me. 136 00:06:40,705 --> 00:06:42,604 Oh, never mind, then. 137 00:06:42,707 --> 00:06:44,773 Hey, hey, pally-boy. 138 00:06:44,876 --> 00:06:47,210 I think that one over there likes me. 139 00:06:47,312 --> 00:06:49,390 You mean the woolly one with tusks? 140 00:06:49,414 --> 00:06:52,948 No. The one who looks like Charlene if she had a tail. 141 00:06:53,050 --> 00:06:55,584 Hey! Earl... 142 00:06:55,686 --> 00:06:58,654 I don't want to pry into your personal business, 143 00:06:58,756 --> 00:07:00,589 but is something bothering you? 144 00:07:00,691 --> 00:07:02,591 Not that I'm aware of. 145 00:07:02,693 --> 00:07:05,194 Charlene? 146 00:07:05,297 --> 00:07:06,729 Charlene, tail? 147 00:07:06,831 --> 00:07:09,498 Hey! 148 00:07:09,600 --> 00:07:13,903 Well, I thought I was on to something. Guess not. 149 00:07:14,005 --> 00:07:16,773 Charlene is too young to have a tail. 150 00:07:16,875 --> 00:07:18,407 She's just a little girl. 151 00:07:18,509 --> 00:07:21,243 Not wanting to open a can of worms here, 152 00:07:21,346 --> 00:07:23,813 but hasn't she been a little girl for about 12 years now? 153 00:07:23,915 --> 00:07:24,915 So? 154 00:07:24,983 --> 00:07:27,349 Well, sometimes a child grows up 155 00:07:27,451 --> 00:07:31,787 and a father, who may not ordinarily be a sensitive type, 156 00:07:31,889 --> 00:07:33,623 may have to suddenly get sensitive 157 00:07:33,725 --> 00:07:38,995 to his little girl becoming a fully fledged adult... tomato. 158 00:07:39,097 --> 00:07:39,895 Tomato? 159 00:07:39,997 --> 00:07:41,898 Who are you talking about? 160 00:07:42,000 --> 00:07:44,133 Uh, someone else entirely. 161 00:07:53,344 --> 00:07:57,246 Gee, John, we both work in the same bookstore, 162 00:07:57,349 --> 00:08:00,616 but you sell so many more books than I do. 163 00:08:00,719 --> 00:08:03,085 I used to have trouble selling books, 164 00:08:03,187 --> 00:08:05,020 - until I read this. - Ah! 165 00:08:06,123 --> 00:08:09,425 Dino-Netics; The Science Of Selling Books. 166 00:08:10,695 --> 00:08:12,595 Pangaea's watching ABC, 167 00:08:12,697 --> 00:08:15,665 the Antediluvian Broadcasting Company. 168 00:08:15,767 --> 00:08:18,267 Coming this fall on ABC... 169 00:08:18,369 --> 00:08:20,169 He's a big-city dinosaur detective 170 00:08:20,271 --> 00:08:24,040 who leaps through time to adopt seven interracial children. 171 00:08:24,142 --> 00:08:26,709 She's a ghost with seven interracial ghost children. 172 00:08:26,811 --> 00:08:28,744 Now they're all moving to the country 173 00:08:28,846 --> 00:08:30,112 to become district attorneys. 174 00:08:30,215 --> 00:08:33,082 Watch the sparks fly when Mother moves in. 175 00:08:33,184 --> 00:08:35,017 It's all... Way Too Complicated! 176 00:08:35,119 --> 00:08:36,585 Wednesdays at 8:00. 177 00:08:36,688 --> 00:08:38,121 Whoa! 178 00:08:40,292 --> 00:08:42,658 Jeez, more of the same. 179 00:08:42,760 --> 00:08:45,094 Mother, you're still mad at them 180 00:08:45,196 --> 00:08:47,730 for canceling Thirtymillionsomething. 181 00:08:49,801 --> 00:08:51,500 I'm home! 182 00:08:51,602 --> 00:08:52,646 Hi, Daddy. 183 00:08:52,670 --> 00:08:54,470 Oh, hi, Princess. 184 00:08:54,572 --> 00:08:56,271 Upstairs playing with your dolls? 185 00:08:56,373 --> 00:08:57,840 Um... Yeah, sure. 186 00:08:57,942 --> 00:09:01,744 Uh, Daddy, did anything come in the mail for me? Hmm? 187 00:09:01,846 --> 00:09:05,014 Oh, well, I don't know. Let me check. 188 00:09:05,116 --> 00:09:06,015 OK. Water, uh... 189 00:09:06,117 --> 00:09:08,517 gas, electric. 190 00:09:08,619 --> 00:09:10,152 Sorry, honey. 191 00:09:10,254 --> 00:09:12,221 Oh, wait a minute. 192 00:09:12,323 --> 00:09:14,523 Oh, lookee here. 193 00:09:14,625 --> 00:09:15,992 "To Charlene Sinclair, 194 00:09:16,094 --> 00:09:18,494 from the Junior Miss Prosthetics Company." 195 00:09:18,596 --> 00:09:19,606 OK. 196 00:09:19,630 --> 00:09:20,963 Here you go. 197 00:09:21,065 --> 00:09:22,143 Thank you. 198 00:09:22,167 --> 00:09:23,766 Hey, what is it? 199 00:09:23,868 --> 00:09:26,168 Uh... doll house. 200 00:09:26,270 --> 00:09:28,137 Nice. 201 00:09:28,239 --> 00:09:30,139 "Tomato." 202 00:09:30,241 --> 00:09:33,142 Hello, there, my family who loves me. 203 00:09:33,244 --> 00:09:37,213 So, Robbie, you got any big weekend plans? 204 00:09:37,315 --> 00:09:39,715 I'm was thinking of taking Connie DeSalvo out, 205 00:09:39,817 --> 00:09:42,151 but I don't have the money to take her anywhere good. 206 00:09:42,253 --> 00:09:43,430 How much? 207 00:09:43,454 --> 00:09:46,122 Oh, well, a dinner that was 10 bucks nicer 208 00:09:46,224 --> 00:09:48,557 would increase my chances of a good-night kiss. 209 00:09:48,659 --> 00:09:51,494 Here you go, Son. Money well spent. 210 00:09:52,697 --> 00:09:55,398 Earl Snead Sinclair. 211 00:09:55,500 --> 00:09:58,634 Oh, Fran, he's just a young fella sowing his wild oats. 212 00:09:58,736 --> 00:10:01,604 He's come for a little sowing assistance, 213 00:10:01,706 --> 00:10:03,439 and I'm glad to give it to him. 214 00:10:03,541 --> 00:10:05,808 I'll take care of the son, and you take care of the... 215 00:10:05,910 --> 00:10:10,079 ♪ La la la, la la la ... Oops. 216 00:10:10,882 --> 00:10:12,748 Ahh. 217 00:10:13,584 --> 00:10:16,752 Oh, Charlene! 218 00:10:16,854 --> 00:10:19,756 Isn't it just the most lovely night outside? 219 00:10:19,858 --> 00:10:22,358 Charlene, you look very nice tonight, 220 00:10:22,460 --> 00:10:25,928 but I can't help thinking there's something different about you. 221 00:10:26,030 --> 00:10:28,363 Hey, Charlene, you got something stuck to your butt. 222 00:10:28,465 --> 00:10:30,432 - Oh, wow... - Leave me alone! 223 00:10:30,534 --> 00:10:32,468 Oh, I'm sorry. 224 00:10:32,570 --> 00:10:34,937 Should I get my staple gun? 225 00:10:35,039 --> 00:10:38,374 - Robbie! Robbie, give it to me! - Robbie, give me my... 226 00:10:38,476 --> 00:10:39,875 Robbie go to your room. 227 00:10:39,977 --> 00:10:41,176 Go on, Son. 228 00:10:43,214 --> 00:10:45,681 Charlene, would you like to talk about this 229 00:10:45,783 --> 00:10:47,683 with your father and me? 230 00:10:47,785 --> 00:10:49,151 No. 231 00:10:49,253 --> 00:10:50,953 Ah, gee, too bad. 232 00:10:51,055 --> 00:10:54,189 Let's go, Junior. Let's go fast. Let's go. 233 00:10:55,860 --> 00:10:59,829 Aw, Charlene, don't you think you're being ridiculous? 234 00:10:59,931 --> 00:11:02,031 But I want a tail. 235 00:11:02,133 --> 00:11:06,201 Look, sweetheart, when you really stop to think about it, 236 00:11:06,304 --> 00:11:08,771 is a tail really that important? 237 00:11:08,873 --> 00:11:09,873 Yes. 238 00:11:09,941 --> 00:11:11,340 Who says so? 239 00:11:11,443 --> 00:11:12,741 Well, the world. 240 00:11:12,843 --> 00:11:14,277 Magazines, 241 00:11:14,379 --> 00:11:16,612 movies, television. 242 00:11:16,714 --> 00:11:20,082 Charlene, the tail on your backside is not as important 243 00:11:20,184 --> 00:11:22,517 as the head on your shoulders, 244 00:11:22,619 --> 00:11:25,054 and you've got a good one. 245 00:11:25,156 --> 00:11:28,057 I'm surprised at you for not using it. 246 00:11:28,159 --> 00:11:30,827 Mom, you said you were the last in your class to get your tail. 247 00:11:30,929 --> 00:11:32,261 How did you handle it? 248 00:11:32,363 --> 00:11:35,397 Oh, well, that was a long time ago. 249 00:11:35,499 --> 00:11:38,634 I'm sure I handled it with grace and dignity. 250 00:11:38,736 --> 00:11:41,537 She tried to throw herself off the roof. 251 00:11:41,639 --> 00:11:42,849 Mother! 252 00:11:42,873 --> 00:11:45,341 Of course, she weighed 2,800 pounds, 253 00:11:45,443 --> 00:11:46,809 so the roof collapsed. 254 00:11:46,911 --> 00:11:49,812 She fell right through onto Grandpa Louie, 255 00:11:49,914 --> 00:11:52,915 who was cleaning his pipe at the time. 256 00:11:53,017 --> 00:11:54,884 We never found the pipe, 257 00:11:54,986 --> 00:11:57,386 but Grandpa Louie walked funny after that. 258 00:11:57,488 --> 00:11:59,354 The point is, 259 00:11:59,456 --> 00:12:02,158 your tail will come when it comes. 260 00:12:02,260 --> 00:12:04,340 Until then, live each day to the fullest. 261 00:12:04,429 --> 00:12:07,263 Make the most of every moment of your life. 262 00:12:07,364 --> 00:12:08,630 OK. 263 00:12:08,732 --> 00:12:10,532 Where are you going? 264 00:12:10,634 --> 00:12:12,568 The roof. 265 00:12:18,876 --> 00:12:21,176 So, the 10 bucks paid off after all. 266 00:12:21,278 --> 00:12:23,478 That's my boy, that's my boy. 267 00:12:24,749 --> 00:12:27,182 You love your caveman, don't you? 268 00:12:27,284 --> 00:12:30,252 I love my caveman. 269 00:12:30,354 --> 00:12:31,654 Oh! 270 00:12:34,825 --> 00:12:37,593 Good morning, family. 271 00:12:37,695 --> 00:12:39,294 Whoa! 272 00:12:39,397 --> 00:12:40,763 Oh... 273 00:12:40,865 --> 00:12:43,965 what'd you do, buy the variety pack? 274 00:12:44,068 --> 00:12:46,435 You're wasting your time, Moronasaurus. 275 00:12:46,537 --> 00:12:47,681 It's real! 276 00:12:47,705 --> 00:12:48,971 Uh, real... 277 00:12:49,073 --> 00:12:54,443 What? Oh, no, man! Oh, I touched my sister's tail! 278 00:12:54,545 --> 00:12:56,812 Charlene, is it really... 279 00:12:56,914 --> 00:12:58,781 Yes. It grew in last night. 280 00:12:58,883 --> 00:13:00,160 Isn't it beautiful, Ma? 281 00:13:00,184 --> 00:13:04,286 - Oh, I'm so happy for you. - Oh, Mom. 282 00:13:05,790 --> 00:13:08,057 Oh, isn't it wonderful, Earl? 283 00:13:10,127 --> 00:13:13,495 How long do you think it'll take the boys to notice I got my tail? 284 00:13:13,597 --> 00:13:15,431 Oh, it's the boys! 285 00:13:15,533 --> 00:13:17,900 It's the boys! Yay! 286 00:13:18,002 --> 00:13:20,202 Our little girl's all grown up. 287 00:13:20,304 --> 00:13:23,372 She's blossomed. 288 00:13:23,474 --> 00:13:25,607 She's a tomato. 289 00:13:35,953 --> 00:13:37,619 Whoa! So how am I doing? 290 00:13:37,721 --> 00:13:40,122 - Do I look good? - You're doing fine. 291 00:13:40,224 --> 00:13:42,825 Are you sure? 'Cause my date's gonna be here at 7:00. 292 00:13:42,927 --> 00:13:45,594 I have to find my new center of gravity by then. Whoops. 293 00:13:45,696 --> 00:13:48,397 The first rule of having a tail is, 294 00:13:48,499 --> 00:13:50,632 be careful how you turn around. 295 00:13:51,302 --> 00:13:52,368 Why? 296 00:13:52,470 --> 00:13:53,702 Whee! Oof! 297 00:13:53,804 --> 00:13:55,804 Ohh... 298 00:13:55,906 --> 00:13:57,139 Again! 299 00:13:57,241 --> 00:13:59,508 Charlene, stop. 300 00:13:59,611 --> 00:14:01,710 - What? - Let me come to you. 301 00:14:01,812 --> 00:14:05,181 So, Mom, when I walk, do I swing it back and forwards, 302 00:14:05,283 --> 00:14:08,784 - or do I just let it drag? - Nice girls don't swing. 303 00:14:08,886 --> 00:14:11,320 - So boys like that? - No. 304 00:14:11,422 --> 00:14:12,821 They're crazy for it. 305 00:14:12,924 --> 00:14:14,322 Mother. 306 00:14:14,425 --> 00:14:16,158 I'm just telling her what's what. 307 00:14:16,260 --> 00:14:18,794 And I'm telling her what's right. 308 00:14:18,896 --> 00:14:21,663 You want her to be alone all her life? 309 00:14:21,765 --> 00:14:23,565 Sweetheart... 310 00:14:25,003 --> 00:14:27,403 just swing it a little until you get married, 311 00:14:27,505 --> 00:14:29,872 then you can put it away. 312 00:14:29,974 --> 00:14:31,307 OK. 313 00:14:34,478 --> 00:14:37,779 - Hi. - Oh. 314 00:14:37,881 --> 00:14:38,881 Hi, Daddy. 315 00:14:38,982 --> 00:14:40,316 Yeah, yeah. 316 00:14:40,418 --> 00:14:45,187 Hi, honey. We're just preparing Charlene for her first date. 317 00:14:45,289 --> 00:14:49,258 - Any words of wisdom? - Date? 318 00:14:49,360 --> 00:14:52,761 Daddy, do you think I should swing it or let it drag? 319 00:14:52,864 --> 00:14:54,730 Because I want him to like me 320 00:14:54,832 --> 00:14:57,165 but I don't want him to think I'm fast. 321 00:14:57,267 --> 00:14:59,034 But I do want him to buy me dinner 322 00:14:59,136 --> 00:15:02,171 but I don't want him to get any ideas. 323 00:15:02,273 --> 00:15:05,775 So, Dad, you're a guy. What do you think? Swing? Drag? What? 324 00:15:05,877 --> 00:15:07,043 Date? 325 00:15:08,145 --> 00:15:09,811 Oh, that's for me. 326 00:15:09,914 --> 00:15:12,247 They're all for me. 327 00:15:12,349 --> 00:15:13,415 Again! 328 00:15:16,354 --> 00:15:17,720 Oh, Earl. 329 00:15:17,822 --> 00:15:21,023 Our little girl's going out on a date. 330 00:15:22,160 --> 00:15:24,526 Why don't you put a knife in my head? 331 00:15:24,628 --> 00:15:26,662 Mother, Father, 332 00:15:26,764 --> 00:15:29,164 this is my date, Maurice. 333 00:15:29,266 --> 00:15:30,565 Hello, Maurice. 334 00:15:30,667 --> 00:15:32,634 Hello, Mrs. Sinclair. 335 00:15:32,736 --> 00:15:37,038 Well, I can certainly see where Charlene gets her good looks. 336 00:15:37,140 --> 00:15:38,774 Ohh. 337 00:15:38,876 --> 00:15:40,642 And this is my daddy. 338 00:15:40,744 --> 00:15:44,779 I want you to know your daughter's in good hands. 339 00:15:44,881 --> 00:15:47,149 I'm sure. 340 00:15:47,918 --> 00:15:49,818 Well, then, I guess we're off. 341 00:15:49,920 --> 00:15:52,440 Wait, wait, wait. Where are you taking my little girl? 342 00:15:52,523 --> 00:15:54,256 We're just going out for ribs. 343 00:15:54,358 --> 00:15:57,526 Ribs? They deliver ribs. We could have ribs right here. 344 00:15:57,628 --> 00:15:59,929 - Earl. - Why do you need to go out? 345 00:16:00,031 --> 00:16:01,963 We think going out would be more fun. 346 00:16:02,066 --> 00:16:04,933 Fun? You want fun? We got fun right here. 347 00:16:05,035 --> 00:16:06,935 We got food, we got games. 348 00:16:07,037 --> 00:16:08,037 Mom. 349 00:16:08,072 --> 00:16:10,339 Earl, you go into the kitchen, 350 00:16:10,441 --> 00:16:13,175 get on the phone and order some ribs. 351 00:16:13,277 --> 00:16:16,045 - Mom! - Right away, Fran. My treat. 352 00:16:16,147 --> 00:16:18,613 Maurice, your money's no good here. 353 00:16:18,716 --> 00:16:19,748 But... But, Mom. 354 00:16:19,850 --> 00:16:21,384 Shh! 355 00:16:22,954 --> 00:16:25,887 Get out of here. Have a good time. 356 00:16:25,989 --> 00:16:28,190 Oh, thanks, Mom. 357 00:16:28,292 --> 00:16:30,259 You're a peach, Mrs. S. 358 00:16:30,361 --> 00:16:31,127 Aw... 359 00:16:31,229 --> 00:16:33,162 - Bye. - Bye-bye. 360 00:16:33,264 --> 00:16:35,130 You're taller than my brother, aren't you? 361 00:16:35,232 --> 00:16:39,134 - Oh, yeah. - I thought so. 362 00:16:40,571 --> 00:16:42,537 I'm back! Mr. Fun! 363 00:16:42,640 --> 00:16:45,240 And look, guys, I found the board games. 364 00:16:45,342 --> 00:16:48,310 You see, Franny? This is what dating should be. 365 00:16:48,412 --> 00:16:50,546 Parents and children. 366 00:16:53,150 --> 00:16:55,517 Where are the children, Fran? 367 00:16:58,489 --> 00:16:59,989 Oh! 368 00:17:09,933 --> 00:17:13,668 Betrayed. Betrayed by the very ones I love. 369 00:17:13,771 --> 00:17:16,305 First my daughter, who had the nerve to grow a tail 370 00:17:16,407 --> 00:17:17,907 and take it out into the night. 371 00:17:18,009 --> 00:17:21,310 And then my wife Franny, the queen betrayer. 372 00:17:21,412 --> 00:17:25,447 She sent me into the other room to order ribs 373 00:17:25,550 --> 00:17:27,949 while daughter decisions were being made. 374 00:17:28,052 --> 00:17:29,285 And most of all Bruno, 375 00:17:29,387 --> 00:17:32,054 who makes the skinniest ribs in the business. 376 00:17:32,156 --> 00:17:35,791 I ate six buckets and I lost weight. 377 00:17:37,795 --> 00:17:40,128 Ah, the refrigerator. 378 00:17:40,231 --> 00:17:42,598 Always there for me. 379 00:17:42,700 --> 00:17:45,034 Hey! Turn out that light! 380 00:17:45,136 --> 00:17:46,136 Sorry. 381 00:17:52,109 --> 00:17:53,642 Ahh. 382 00:18:01,218 --> 00:18:04,053 Yo, look here, Chucky, just because you can't sleep, 383 00:18:04,155 --> 00:18:06,321 doesn't mean you got to disturb me. 384 00:18:06,423 --> 00:18:07,957 Uh... no, uh... 385 00:18:08,059 --> 00:18:09,624 Then tuck me in. 386 00:18:09,727 --> 00:18:10,993 Yeah. 387 00:18:11,095 --> 00:18:12,994 Uh, yes, sir. 388 00:18:16,100 --> 00:18:18,801 Take me out of the refrigerator at this hour, 389 00:18:18,903 --> 00:18:20,368 I'll lose my space. 390 00:18:20,471 --> 00:18:22,404 Hey! Kiss me good night! 391 00:18:22,506 --> 00:18:24,172 Hmm? Oh. 392 00:18:25,610 --> 00:18:27,821 And don't be putting me in no vegetable bin. 393 00:18:27,845 --> 00:18:29,125 I wake up in the vegetables, 394 00:18:29,179 --> 00:18:31,347 I'll come out and kick your flabby dinosaur butt 395 00:18:31,449 --> 00:18:33,882 all up and down the super-continent! 396 00:18:33,984 --> 00:18:36,151 You've been pacing the floors all night. 397 00:18:36,253 --> 00:18:38,721 You! I'm not even talking to you! 398 00:18:38,823 --> 00:18:41,823 You who uses ribs to manipulate others! 399 00:18:41,925 --> 00:18:45,994 Earl, you knew Charlene was going to grow up someday. 400 00:18:46,096 --> 00:18:49,397 This is not about her. I'm not thinking about her. 401 00:18:49,499 --> 00:18:52,000 I'm not even worried about Charlene in the least. 402 00:18:58,843 --> 00:19:02,944 Oh, Franny, yesterday she was my sweet little girl, 403 00:19:03,047 --> 00:19:06,581 and today, she's Little Miss Look-What-I-Got. 404 00:19:06,683 --> 00:19:08,250 And that frightens you. 405 00:19:08,352 --> 00:19:09,784 Nothing frightens me, Fran. 406 00:19:09,887 --> 00:19:12,287 I'm the mighty megalosaurus. 407 00:19:12,390 --> 00:19:15,224 I am the king of all I survey! 408 00:19:15,926 --> 00:19:17,692 Oh, Franny, 409 00:19:17,794 --> 00:19:19,628 I don't know how to be the father 410 00:19:19,730 --> 00:19:22,063 of a teenage female thing. 411 00:19:22,165 --> 00:19:24,065 You're a wonderful father, Earl. 412 00:19:24,168 --> 00:19:26,034 Yeah, I was a wonderful father 413 00:19:26,136 --> 00:19:28,103 when they were little kids and sat on my lap, 414 00:19:28,205 --> 00:19:31,039 but now they're not little kids anymore. 415 00:19:31,141 --> 00:19:34,543 I don't have a lap to sit on anymore. 416 00:19:34,645 --> 00:19:37,713 All I want is my little girl back, Fran. 417 00:19:37,815 --> 00:19:39,414 I want her to still need me. 418 00:19:39,517 --> 00:19:41,750 I want to hold her and read her stories. 419 00:19:41,852 --> 00:19:43,652 Tell her I love her. 420 00:19:44,421 --> 00:19:46,488 Where the hell have you been? 421 00:19:46,590 --> 00:19:47,723 Hi, Daddy. 422 00:19:47,825 --> 00:19:49,925 If you think I'm gonna pace these floors 423 00:19:50,027 --> 00:19:51,359 for the rest of my life 424 00:19:51,461 --> 00:19:54,129 worrying about you out there in the world, Little Missy, 425 00:19:54,231 --> 00:19:55,430 you can forget it. 426 00:19:55,532 --> 00:19:58,400 You are not going out on any more dates. 427 00:19:58,502 --> 00:19:59,801 That's fine with me. 428 00:19:59,903 --> 00:20:01,770 Then we're in complete agreement. 429 00:20:01,872 --> 00:20:03,772 Yes, we are. 430 00:20:04,908 --> 00:20:06,808 Why? 431 00:20:06,910 --> 00:20:11,580 Well, because it was the most humiliating experience of my life. 432 00:20:11,682 --> 00:20:13,048 Ohh... 433 00:20:13,150 --> 00:20:15,784 What did he do to you? 434 00:20:16,587 --> 00:20:17,986 He dumped me. 435 00:20:18,088 --> 00:20:21,557 Is that what the kids are calling it now, Fran? 436 00:20:21,659 --> 00:20:24,159 He met a girl with a tail that was bigger than mine 437 00:20:24,261 --> 00:20:26,061 and he went off with her. 438 00:20:26,163 --> 00:20:28,296 I walked all the way home. 439 00:20:28,399 --> 00:20:31,166 Oh, well, sweetheart... 440 00:20:31,268 --> 00:20:35,704 you know, in situations like this... 441 00:20:37,340 --> 00:20:40,809 your mother is always right there and knows exactly what to say. 442 00:20:40,911 --> 00:20:42,151 Honey. 443 00:20:47,284 --> 00:20:49,918 Good night, Earl. 444 00:20:50,988 --> 00:20:52,388 Mom? 445 00:20:52,490 --> 00:20:54,123 Mom! 446 00:20:59,863 --> 00:21:02,263 Charlene, why didn't you call me? 447 00:21:02,366 --> 00:21:03,932 I'd have come to pick you up. 448 00:21:04,034 --> 00:21:07,368 I thought if I walked home, you'd be asleep, 449 00:21:07,470 --> 00:21:09,338 but you waited up. 450 00:21:09,440 --> 00:21:12,441 Well, of course I waited up. What do you think? 451 00:21:12,543 --> 00:21:14,442 I think if this is what happens, 452 00:21:14,545 --> 00:21:16,812 I'm not going out on any more dates. 453 00:21:18,182 --> 00:21:20,415 Oh, yes, you are. 454 00:21:20,517 --> 00:21:21,383 What? 455 00:21:21,485 --> 00:21:23,152 Look, you grow a tail, 456 00:21:23,253 --> 00:21:25,413 and all of a sudden, guys start asking you out. 457 00:21:25,455 --> 00:21:28,490 And you think these guys are the right guys to go out with? 458 00:21:28,592 --> 00:21:30,492 Yeah. I do. 459 00:21:30,594 --> 00:21:32,194 Well, you're wrong. 460 00:21:32,296 --> 00:21:34,696 Daddy, nature gave me a tail. 461 00:21:34,799 --> 00:21:37,499 Nature thinks I'm old enough to make the right decisions. 462 00:21:37,601 --> 00:21:42,070 Is this the same nature that gave us volcanoes and earthquakes and human beings? 463 00:21:42,172 --> 00:21:45,407 The same nature that turned you, overnight, from my little girl 464 00:21:45,509 --> 00:21:48,710 into some female-walking-home-by-herself thing? 465 00:21:48,812 --> 00:21:51,779 I don't think nature knows what it's doing. 466 00:21:51,881 --> 00:21:55,717 What you need is something to protect you from nature. 467 00:21:55,819 --> 00:21:58,220 You mean... like a father? 468 00:21:58,322 --> 00:22:01,923 Well, actually, I was thinking more like a machine gun. 469 00:22:02,025 --> 00:22:03,992 But I guess a father would do in a pinch. 470 00:22:04,094 --> 00:22:07,061 And I'm going to tell you something. 471 00:22:07,163 --> 00:22:08,897 This boy didn't dump you, 472 00:22:08,999 --> 00:22:11,400 because he wasn't even dating you. 473 00:22:11,502 --> 00:22:14,336 He just left your tail for another tail. 474 00:22:14,438 --> 00:22:18,340 If he knew you, he never would have left you. 475 00:22:18,442 --> 00:22:22,044 So, you're gonna look out for me, Daddy? 476 00:22:22,146 --> 00:22:23,390 Well... 477 00:22:23,414 --> 00:22:26,181 if you want me to. 478 00:22:26,283 --> 00:22:28,717 I do want you to. 479 00:22:28,819 --> 00:22:33,288 Hey, there's nothing I'd rather do, Charlene. 480 00:22:36,193 --> 00:22:37,926 How'd I do, Fran? 481 00:22:39,563 --> 00:22:42,297 Well, not the Mama, but... 482 00:22:42,399 --> 00:22:44,766 you'll do in a pinch.